Learning of a Gift

By: Tim DiMiceli

I could start out by sounding like a thesis statement about the nuances of culture and the acceptance of Bipolar disorder. But it is not the culture alone that is needed to accept or give credence to what more than many of us realize, deal, cope or are affected with every day from Bipolar disorder. Not only Bipolar but also depression in general, anxiety, and mania. I have and still cope with all three. Yes, I did state the word cope because as you will see and come to learn form this letter and also on your own…the disorder, disease, illness (what ever you call it) does NOT define You. You define it. You are the best one to know when it is happening, going down the dark path of depression or leading up to a heightened high where you are not wrong.

Yes, you have a diagnosis. That is a starting point to understand what lays ahead of you. Not all are created equal in the world of mental illness. Before you go further, take a moment and look in a mirror: Are you any different in looks, beliefs and who YOU are from the day you were diagnosed to today while you read this? No, that is the answer. You are still that person that woke up a year ago, today or five weeks ago today.

I had to come to terms, or an accepting because I was given the diagnosis as a teen. At an age where peers judged quickly and chose not to understand. Thus, I had a harder time realizing, the label is but a label to help me not empower the disorder but know what the definition may entiail….to prepare me for the ups and downs I did not know were to occur.

Yet today, I look at that label and shrug because it does not scare, control or affect me. Instead, it gives me a sense of knowledge that I have a capacity to feel more, even if it is painful. Creativity is somewhat a hidden gift for some that comes with this. Others have a better work ethic. It depends on how YOU choose to work with it and manipulate the energies it gives you.

I’ll be honest, the cure (If there is one) is learning to work and manage your disorder for the benefit of You. For the benefit that it can bring but also it is working to find a good mix if medicine is prescribed. That also is a realization many have to come to terms with. The need to keep a level or semi-level mood with medicine. It took me 5-10 years to start to take it daily. It is just as important as a diabetic shot of insulin.

I could write a lot more but I will stop here as it is time to look again in that mirror, and say with conviction,” I am me, and the bipolar does not and will not take me from me.”